What should I do about my parents?( uk) Advice from other parents would be helpfull?

a year ago and a bit ago ( when i was 15 , i am 17 now) my dad told my mum that he has been cheating for 3 months ( blatent lie been going on for much longer) and he moved in with this other woman. He was away for a few months then decided he wanted to come back, then he didnt and left and this prosess repeated itself several times. Just coming round then sleeps with my mum then he would go back to the other woman within the next day, ( or hour in one case). My mum took no notice of my needs and refused to follow everyones advice, even a trained divorce lawyer. During the time he was gone he kept on letting himself back in the house when he went to pick up my sister on a day out. I thought this to be bang out of order also what is sick within a week of him leaving he took my 8 year old sister to meet this other woman for a day out. Because im a smart person and the only person involved in this whole affair who isnt a liar ( my dad) or too young to understand ( my sister) or just plane ignorant ( my mum), this caused me much stress and depression wich lead to a nervos break down involving me getting very hurt and having to call for an ambulance, This whole saga was going on for months and it really put me in a very awkward place, because this was only a very close family issue the rest of my family didnt know the full detais or what was going on( they just thought he left and that was case closed) to step in and do somthing, my grandma was the only person I spoke to and franky she was as helpfull as a chocolate tea pot, beliving that the kids are no part of this, when everyone in their right minds know children come 1st in marrage expeshaly after one has a nervos break and attacks themself with a broken glass. I felt let down and alone, in november my dad came back ( AGAIN) and my mum knew this would emotionaly destroy me and probaly mess up my sister even more, because by this point I wouldnt of given a crap if he got hit by a car.





During his absence I told my mum I had a boyfriend called jorden and everything was all cool about it because I felt I could be open about it because my dad was gone, and she was fine with him coming around and staying but when my dad came back she told him and he didnt want jorden to stay around anymore and my mum changed her tune about the whole thing saying nasty things, eventualy Jorden was aloud to stay round again ( thank god finaly a bit of understanding at last). All of this made everything more stressing not only does my dad break the family but trys to break my realationship and breaks my collage career ( I was in such a state I had to refuse my collage placement ). While he was back it was apprent that within a few weeks he was back cheating again and my mum just lets it go over her head. Now we get to present day...





My parents went out for a meal on Wednesday this week and I was asked to baby sit my sister, I thought it was odd them going out for a meal because it never happens, but I just dismissed it as a fluke, then the day afterwards I found a credit card receipt and It was for 拢75 and I thought this is very strange because they said it was the two of them going for a drink, and I know my parents dont have friends in the area, and there was alot of alcohol orderd such as sambuca ( wich I know my parents dont drink) and gin, also if they both drank all that booze together they would of been both floored. I still thought this was very very strange and out the ordenary. But I thought hmm il remember this because It must mean somthing, its as if they were with 4 people who just wanted to get slaughterd. Tonight I heard them talking and I evesdroped, i know its wrong to but from my past experences with them everything they do seems to blow up in my face, It turns out my dad has found some way of getting my mum into group orgies and videoing it, I was literaly horrifed, it was so out the blue. I know its fine for people to get up to that stuff but my mum isnt the type to want to do that. This is a massive blow to my recovery from my nervos break, lately within the last month ive been seriously conserned about them, they are drinking excessivly, wich they never did befor, and when my dad goes to work ( I hardly sleep anymore) I hear sniffing coming from the toilet, and ive been to partys and I know what it sounds like when sombody is doing sniff. I noticed this befor in the past but I didnt really notice it much until recently when it sounded ovious. Im very worryed that they are on a slope and about to crash and burn. The orgies is one thing but if theres drugs involved I got to leave this house, we are becoming more hard up and I have a general idea where that money is going. I am in fear for my own mental health and wellbeing. I really want to and possibly have to leave this house before anything happens. What do you think I should do, Im on benifits atm due to there being no work around and my income is minimal. Im considering either telling social services orWhat should I do about my parents?( uk) Advice from other parents would be helpfull?
dude or dudet well i know how u feel my parents are on the verge of breaking uop im always on the cliff side nevr in the middle of the cliff with love and hugs. dont run away my advice to is when ever u see them just think about ur future your self its there promblem not yous they do something wrng they will suffer the=is isnrt ur fault but ur parents i ve been in dozens of exprience when my parents are about to break up but i act strong and force them to stay this is a sad moment for u i know but if u focus on ur self and not what they do then u wotn suffer they will on second thought actualy go to your grandma or grandpa this is seriouss when ur parents are not with go take the car and leave this is bad situation tell ur gran whats goign on leave letter saying u wnt somewhere dont say that u went to ur grans they'll come there if u say that.





. -55mac24What should I do about my parents?( uk) Advice from other parents would be helpfull?
I'm sorry!
Hi, it sounds like your parents are not caring for your sister or you. As you are under 18 still, the UK government still say your parents are responsible to care for you and keep you safe within your own home and you should be able to feel safe etc. Talk to a close family member - such as a close aunt/uncle - you need support! Tell them you are concerned that there is drug use in the house which your sister could know about or see. It sounds like your parents are trying to patch up their relationship by sexual means - meaning the 'Orgies'. Unfortunatly this isn't the best way to fix a relationship - they really need to know how you are feeling - just be blunt with them! You and your sister (didn't say how old she was?) should be firstly and foremost their top priority, not drinking to excess or taking drugs. Maybe you can call the college and enroll as they do sometimes accept students late onto courses (normally before mid october), it will give you somewhere to go to take your mind off it, be with children your own age and the college can offer counsellors/advisors who you can talk to confidentialy.


I once badly hurt myself as a child that required stiches and every time i see that scar i think how silly i was to hurt myself over my families problems. I was physically and mentally/emtionally abused as a child and neglected - with me missing most of yr6 at primary school, and most of yr7 at secondary where i had to stay home (lone parent) and look after my little sister (i was 11/12) who was also missing primary school). I look back and wish that someone told social services about us and wish i had had the confidence to tell someone but i never did. Just talk to someone! I bucked up my ideas in yr10/11 and finished with 7 C's. 4D's and 2E's at GCSE, went to college, finished top of a childcare course (easy peasy!) and am now about to start year 2 of uni (aged 19)- so chin up! there is so much you can do to help yourself - just talk to someone!


I hope this helps!


Michelle x
I suggest you confide in a close relative and have them accompany you while you confront your parents about this- if you know there is illegal activity going on in your home, call the police. You and your sister deserve much, much better from your parents.





I wish you and your sis all the best-
You nee to share this with Social Services for you and your sister. Getting an adult who acts like an adult is important for you both.
Listen, you sound like an extremely mature 17 year old, you even sound like you are the parents in this senario, and i have to applaud you for this.





Practically it doesn't sound like it would work if you were to move out, financially i mean.





My advice to you would be to stay put in the house, and gather up as much PHYSICAL EVIDENCE as possible that points to them doing drugs.





You are correct it isn't right for you or your sister to be around anyone doing drugs.





If social services got involved and found evidence they could take your sister away and put her with foster parents which im sure thats not what you want.





I would say sit tight, be the adult in this situation, once you have gathered evidence, proper evidence, tell them you want to speak to them both, get them together, show them what you have found and tell them how ASHAMED you are of them.





The orgies thing, hmmm, sounds like your mum is doing it to probably keep your dad, but on the other hand she wouldn't do anything that she thought was rape, i'd hope.





Try and forget about the orgies thing, them kind of things usually happen in phases, once they've done it it'll be unlikely they do it again, if they do do it more, then both of them obviously want to do that, its not nice for you to know this, but maybe they are happy doing it and its putting some kind of spark in there relationship, i dont know.





Stay being strong, you sound very strong, BE THERE FOR YOUR SISTER, dont leave, and remember one day you will be free from your parents and have the life you want to lead, you are only 17 at the minute so it will be really difficult to financially support yourself away from the family home.





Wishing you all the luck in the world x
get you and your little sister out of there


take her to your grans or something, and tell your gran everything





sounds like your parents are gonna self destruct and its gonna get ugly
aarg. thats tough. your doing great/ you need to get you and your sis out. you sound very grown up for 17. I aplaud you for going through this. I have been through alot on my own too, some bad stuff, and I know how it feels. do the right thing kid.





I hope you feel better soon.


Go to college!

make up